Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
