i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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