yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm always down for nudity.
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