you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
