Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
