But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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