Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
