But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
