so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
