So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry about my life...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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