Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
