i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
