a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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