We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
