I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
