Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
