Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
