Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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