why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
