I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
