I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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