so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize