is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Randomize
