We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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