Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
