its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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