2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
