There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
