awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
