brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
