My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
