Dual....:-)
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
