ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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