apparently the secret to your success is patron
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
