Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
