At least make sure they are 18
Why
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
