if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Houston, we have a squirter
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
