I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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