I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
