If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
