Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
