Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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