Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
