I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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