I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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