we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
