Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
