THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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