He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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