how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize