i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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