I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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